“How’s the career going?” Amanda asks me.
I turn to the mercurial mirrored curves of Cloud Gate behind me, shrug my shoulders, give a lopsided grin and answer, “Oh, chugging along.”
Anish Kapoor’s polished sculpture distorts my face and figure so that I look like Victor Hugo’s hunchback grimacing in pain. A truthful depiction since inside I am seething. The question appears innocuous, but I always hear the undercurrents. My honest reply should be, “I have no clue. I am living moment by moment, word by word, trying my hardest.” I never want to say this because the pitying looks, the pats on the shoulder, the fake sympathy is not what I seek.
I am in Chicago, Illinois to meet my friend Amanda on my cross-country sojourn from the Pacific Ocean to the eastern coast of the United States. She is a mid-level manager at an international financial accounting firm with three children. She has always known what she wanted to achieve and the steps she needed to take to get there. Her life has been a steady climbing escalator. Mine is appropriately represented by the stainless steel globule at Millennium Park: looping and bulbous.
As a long time comrade, Amanda worries over my future. To her road trips are relegated to college age bohemians enjoying the last of summer. Every time we speak on the phone, she asks, “Do you know where you will settle down? Have you thought about buying a house yet? Are you looking at all? Now is the time to invest in your future. The equity you could build would provide you with peace of mind.”
She frets over my life choices and believes I shall one day show up at her doorstep as a homeless and impoverished senescent. I sometimes awaken from nightmares about being destitute too, though I would never burden myself upon her. I am happy Amanda has achieved her definition of success, but her intractable journey through life echoes the rigidity of the city’s rectilinear silhouette. I crave her surety, her credence in the House of Mammon, her sacred sense of worth through proprietorship, but I cannot worship at her altar.
I stare at that intransigent skyline as it glides past our cruising yacht, stacks of metal and glass reflecting the midwestern sky. My path is better mirrored by the convoluted history of the 156-mile (251 kilometers) Chicago River. Once its northern and southern tributaries met at Wolf Point before emptying into Lake Michigan. In 1885, Chicago decided to reverse the flow due to pollution concerns and built a network of canals. Now the waters pour from Lake Michigan into the river as it empties into the Mississippi.
The river’s murky birth from ice age remnants of Lake Chicago and warping by human engineering is not a typical narrative, but this one owns its twisted turns proudly. In the face of Amanda’s perturbation I would like to do the same. I may not have designated signposts in my profession that flaunt my achievements. I may not be chasing the same fiscal milestones. I may not have a career that resembles her ideas, but I have my own goals, plans, and aspirations. If my destiny does not appear to be at the right turn or to have come to fruition yet, it is not a failure. I believe every organism grows according to its own rhythm. The endpoint of my finish line may lie far beyond any visible horizon, but I am certain it is there and that I will eventually arrive to that crossing tape.
Modern metropolises must get manufactured at the same cookie factory. They boast the same avenues filled with identical global storefronts. They show off the same lineup of gargantuan cigarette box edifices splayed out like faceless dominoes. They perpetuate the myth that to be a worthy conurbation requires a nondescript permanence of sorts: the buildings alter but the look stays the same. I admire the way Kapoor’s Cloud Gate contorts this perspective of Chicago. Looking at the city’s outline through the sculpture’s undulations reveals the innate fluidity all urban architecture should possess. Like the Chicago River, it reminds me that not everyone has to enter through the same door or toe the straight line to success. Who can say when Chicago’s DNA is complete? Who can predict the plot turns of their narrative? The unfinished “chapter of now” is the most interesting to me, its never ending story unfurling and folding upon itself to create a shape shifting novelty.
The river gave birth to the city and remains an integral part of daily life. The three branches of the Chicago River are immortalized in the city’s Y-shaped municipal emblem. Look for it as the marquee of the Chicago Theater, stamped upon sewer covers, and as a heraldic symbol of the Avondale School. A search for it throughout the city will reveal it hidden in plain and not-so-plain sight.
Is there a megapolis you believe has a unique skyline? What features would you like to see that would differentiate cities from each other?
Excellent captures of the city
Chicago–once my home; Dubai–once my home; LA–once my home; Boston–once my home; skyline?–tallest in the world is always an attraction; but the fun stuff is personal safety on the streets, colorful markets and multicultural street food. And your Chicago photos are great fun!!! I’ll be back!
Thank you. Wow, you have lived in some skyscraper-loving cities! I so agree with you that, despite the fancy buildings, it is the street markets and local foods that make these places memorable.
Gorgeous City and photos, the dilemma of all creatives a safe, secure job or insecurity but doing what makes you happy 😳
So true Charlotte, though I wish this weren’t true for those in the creative field! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
What’s the finish line? I used to feel irritated when people said it’s about the journey but now I think I get it
🙂 Some would say the finish line is death….I think as I get older, the journey becomes more important to me than it used to. Thanks for reading.
Haha, I did think of that but thought it might sound a bit morbid! Same here, it’s good to have goals though. You’re welcome, thanks for stopping by mine 🙂
😄 Not morbid at all, but a fact of life. Yes, it is good to have goals (and dreams), though the ones I have aren’t necessarily similar to other people’s.
Sounds interesting, am curious. That’s one of the reasons I love travelling – I met so many interesting people and lots more like minded people which was so refreshing and made me really happy 🙂
I understand. A lot of the times I wonder if I made the right decisions and am plagued with self-doubt quite a bit. Wishing you the best.
Thank you TB! Your wishes mean such a lot to me. It is encouraging to know that many others successfully battle the same obstacles I tackle on this journey.
I was thinking recently of visiting Chicago, your pictures convinced me! 🙂
🙂 Happy they helped convince you. Enjoy your visit.
I so know this feeling. Even at 47, I still deal with the nightmares of ending up destitute. However, my Amandas have either disappeared or shut up by now. 😉 Are they really concerned, do they have secret regrets, or is this kind of freedom simply terrifying to them? You are so unbelievably wealthy, dear. May your road trip be infinite.
Thank you for your beautifully encouraging words. They mean so much to me as I keep trekking. 😀
Beautifully written :).
What a great time to be reflective, ending of the year and to do so with friends ~ and seeing this incredible and unique path that you have traveled. Pretty exciting and it seems that you thrive when the path gets a bit daunting. The second photo is great, a perfect perspective for this post – both visually and written. Wish you a great week and final month of this incredible year 🙂 Cheers!
🙂 Your words put my constant complaining about my twisted life path to shame. Thank you. It is nice to belong to a community, albeit a virtual one, where attempting the intimidating is not seen as a crazy career choice. Have a wonderful December yourself and take care!
🙂 Part of the “fun” of not going the more traditional route is the complaining 🙂 Take care and enjoy December ~
As a doctor, I used to have a career path seemingly set in stone. I have been in the mill since I started nursery school nearly 28 years ago and until recently, my path was as concrete as those steel pictures. Lately though with NHS upheavals, I have started to re-examine my life plan and for once, my path is a little more like the Chicago river too and beyond the trepidation, there is some excitement sowing seed. Life is about the journey not the destination. Let’s embrace it
So well put, thank you! It’s so easy to forget that life is about the journey, even for a traveler like me. I am learning and re-learning to embrace the excitement of the unknown. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I wish you the best in whatever winding path your life takes you.
Beautiful, as always. You are one of the most unique writers out there, the way you are able to weave travel with your personal narrative. I applaud you for continuing to follow your passion and do what you love. You are right — we are not all running the same race. Blessings!
Thank you for your kind words and support Stacy. Following my passion comes with its many blessings and obstacles, but I am determined to forge ahead.
I really like you pictures and the article! Chicago is one of my favorite cities. I wrote an article about it too on my blog and it was interesting to see the city from someone else’s perspective too.
Thank you. It is always intriguing to see a destination from another perspective as it reveals another characteristic of the place. I look forward to checking out what you had to say about Chicago in your blog.